Cafe Doom

The Critique Crypt => General writing chat => Dark Poets => Topic started by: Sunny on December 16, 2004, 06:24:53 PM

Title: Foresaken
Post by: Sunny on December 16, 2004, 06:24:53 PM
"God, why do you foresake us?"
The childs mother holds his lifeless body;
and soldiers laughs.
They laugh at another terrorists capture.
Bombs have ripped limbs!
Scorched faces!
Men humiliated in thier nakedness,
their women raped and beaten.
while yet, another soldier laughs.
"God, why do you foresake us?"
My child fights so bravely;
and children laugh.
They laugh at the ignorance of their brothers.
Bullets have pierced flesh!
Broken another mothers heart!
A childs innocence has been lost,
as his country gains more wealth.
while yet, another child laughs.
"God, why do you foresake us?"
"But it is not I who foresakes you."
Willingly a soldier fights for his freedom;
and the law foresakes him.
Soldiers fight with passion!
They get only pain!
a child dies in horror,
a woman misused for pleasure,
a man humiliated for his action,
a soldiers death if not in vain;
"for it is not I who foresakes you."

Between trying to come up with something for the virus zero title game and the emotion I recieved from watching Farienhyte 9/11, this is what ya'll get. Hope you like it and take it all inĀ  :-*
Title: Re: Foresaken
Post by: Ed on December 16, 2004, 06:52:08 PM
I often think that emotions can fracture reality - it's like people inhabit different timelines sometimes, depending on their role in a given situation.  One instance I'll always remember was the day of my Grandfather's funeral.  We, the close family, were in our own little cocoon of tragedy and mourning, while all around us the world carried on as normal.  It just seemed so surreal to me, and I felt like I should shout out, "What's wrong with all of you?!?!  Don't you know what's just happened?" to the 'normal' people.  Absurd, I know.  Just one of those thoughts :scratch:
Title: Re: Foresaken
Post by: Sunny on February 14, 2010, 09:52:46 PM
Blunt ~ I now get exactly what your thought was. And that is exactly the feeling in the poem above. Though I never realized at the time of writing it, just how close to the emotional reality you described I hit... Ponderous moments...