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A bunch of unattributed quotes

Started by Ed, August 27, 2006, 05:20:17 AM

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Ed

                             
Before you criticize someone,
                                      you should walk a mile in their shoes.
                                       That way, when you criticize them,
                                   you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

                                                       
                                                         

                                    Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
                                  Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat
                                             and drink beer all day.

                                                       
                                                         

                             If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again,
                                            it was probably worth it.

                                                       
                                                       

                               If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

                                                       
                                                         

                                   Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
                                  Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
                                         Do not walk beside me, either;
                                          just leave me the heck alone.

                                                       
                                                         

                                        It's always darkest before dawn.
                               So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper,
                                             that's the time to do it.

                                                       
                                                         

                                  Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced,
                                             you can't be promoted.

                                                       
                                                         

                                   No one is listening until you make a mistake.

                                                       
                                                         

                             Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

                                                       
                                                         

                                     It may be that your sole purpose in life is
                                     simply to serve as a warning to others.

                                                       
                                                         

                                      It is far more impressive when others
                                  discover your good qualities without your help.

                                                       
                                                         

                                              If you tell the truth,
                                      you don't have to remember anything.

                                                       
                                                         

                                          Some days you are the bug,
                                       some days you are the windshield.

                                                       
                                                         

                                   Good judgment comes from bad experience,
                                   and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

                                                       
                                                         

                                  There are two theories to arguing with women.
                                              Neither one works.

                                                       
                                                         

                                   Generally speaking, you aren't learning much
                                          when your mouth is moving.

                                                       
                                                         

                                      Never miss a good chance to shut up.

                                                       
                                                         

                                      Experience is something you don't get
                                           until just after you need it.
Planning is an unnatural process - it is much more fun to do something.  The nicest thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise, rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression. [Sir John Harvey-Jones]

Stormm

Here are some more... though some may have been attributed and only God knows how accurately...

Aging has its drawbacks, but it's better than the alternative.

The laws of physics insist that light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear to be bright, until you hear them speak

Indecision may or may not be my problem.

Give me ambiguity, or give me something else!

Normalcy is a fallacy, propagated by the insecure.

60% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life. -Frank Zappa

Experience is what you get, when you didn't get what you wanted.

Tact, (n): The unsaid part of what you are thinking.

Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.

The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws. -Tacitus

People separated from their history are easily persuaded. -Karl Marx

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. -Mark Twain

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. -Albert Einstein

If I were two faced, would I be wearing this one? -Abraham Lincoln

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. -Albert Einstein

Great spirits have always encountered serious opposition from mediocre minds - Albert Einstein

Vene, Vidi, Visa! We came, we saw, we shopped!

Due to budget constraints; the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

One thing men have learned from history, is that men learn nothing from history.

It takes 42 muscles to frown...however, it only requires 4 muscles to reach out and bitch slap somebody.

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time" -- Robin Williams

"LIFE IS NOT A JOURNEY TO THE GRAVE WITH THE INTENTION OF ARRIVING SAFELY IN A PRETTY AND WELL PRESERVED BODY, BUT RATHER TO SKID IN BROADSIDE, THOROUGHLY USED UP, TOTALLY WORN OUT, AND LOUDLY PROCLAIMING: WOW.... WHAT A RIDE !!!" 

Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it. - Max Frisch

"The entwives left us when they discovered that we had woodpeckers." -Treebeard, from Lord of the Rings

"Pissed off, I am! Kick your silly ass, I will!" -Yoda

Try not to be so open minded that your brains slide out.

Amo, amas, amat it again.

I have stared into the gaping maw of evil, and I have brought the Tic Tacs!

"Life is like a sh*t sandwich, the more bread I've got the less sh*t I've got to eat"- Brian "W". Netzel

I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

The fact that no one understands you doesn't make you an artist.

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

Life is a roller coaster...try to eat a light lunch.

Men with piercings are better equipt for marriage. They've already experienced pain and bought jewelery.

"I knew I had to get a divorce when my karma ran over her dogma."

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog of course, it's too dark to read.

Never underestimate to power of stupid people in large groups.

When all of the jobs are outsourced, we'll eat the rich.

"Normal" is a setting on your washing machine.

The truth is never pure and rarely simple - Oscar Wilde

"If it's not one thing, it's your mother." -Sigmund Freud

Stealing is illegal because the government hates competition.

Polititians and diapers need to be changed for the same reasons.

Jesus is coming. Look busy.

Drugs lead nowhere... but it's the scenic route.

ALL men are animals, but some make better pets.

A nice @$$ should be seen and not heard.

I love God. It's his fans that give me the heebie jeebies.

Don't worry about what other people think. They don't do it often enough for it to matter.

Just because you HAVE one, it doesn't mean you have to BE one.

Laugh at your problems. Everyone else does.

The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.

I'm not perfect, but parts of me are incredible.

Some of us drink deeply from the fountain of knowledge, and others just gargle and spit.

My first wife was a paranoid dyslexic, and was always certain that she was following someone.

One of the most disturbing lessons in arcane wisdom today is the knowledge that some dreams cannot be ignored for their reality and much of what we have taken for reality is merely the stuff of dreams. -Stormm

I trust in my abilities, I just want more than they offer.

Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing - R.E. Howard

That only which we have within, can we see without. If we meet no Gods, it is because we harbor none. If there is a grandeur in you, you will find grandeur in porters and sweeps - Ralph Waldo Emerson

When the Gods wish to punish us they answer our prayers - Ocar Wilde

Give a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life - Terry Pratchett

"I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.  - Hilary Clinton

They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance - Terry Pratchett

The cyclone derives its powers from a calm center. So does a person. ~Norman Vincent Peale

"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there." - Will Rogers

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before. - Mae West (1892 - 1980)

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow, sleep late. - Henny Youngman

"Nobody realises that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." - Al Camus






-Stormm

Visit us at www.witchclan.com

SharonBell

Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing - R.E. Howard


I like this one, Stormm. Lately, it seems everyone has a mean streak. If I weren't so f%@#$! civilized, I'd bitch slap them!
"Be good and you'll be lonesome." Mark Twain

www.sharonbuchbinder.com