How to shower

[Ed]

Aother one of those things doing the rounds on e-mail   Just goes to show how boring most women are and how pleasantly humorous most men are, if you ask me

(waits for feminine backlash  )


***

>>HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A  WOMAN
>>
>>
>>Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according
>>to
>>lights and darks.
>>
>>Walk to bathroom wearing long  dressing gown.
>>
>>If you  see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
>>
>>Look at your womanly physique in the  mirror - make mental note to do
>>more
>>sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
>>
>>Get in the shower.
>>
>>Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth,  long loofah, wide loofah and
>>pumice
>>stone.
>>
>>Wash your hair once with cucumber and  sage shampoo with 43 added
>>vitamins.
>>
>>Wash your hair again to make sure it's  clean.
>>
>>Condition your  hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
>>
>>Wash your face with crushed apricot  facial scrub for 10 minutes until
>>red.
>>
>>Wash entire rest of body with ginger  nut and jaffa cake body wash.
>>
>>Rinse conditioner off  hair.
>>
>>Shave armpits and  legs.
>>
>>Turn off  shower.
>>
>>Squeegee off all  wet surfaces in shower.
>>
>>Spray mould spots with Tile  cleaner.
>>
>>Get out of  shower.
>>
>>Dry with towel  the size of a small country.
>>
>>Wrap hair in super absorbent  towel.
>>
>>Return to bedroom  wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
>>
>>If you see husband along the way,  cover up any exposed areas.
>>
>>
>>HOW TO  SHOWER LIKE A MAN
>>
>>Take off clothes while sitting on the  edge of the bed and leave them in
>>a
>>pile.
>>
>>Walk naked to the  bathroom.
>>
>>If you see  wife along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo'
>>sound.
>>
>>Look at your manly physique in the  mirror.
>>
>>Admire the size  of your willy and scratch your bum.
>>
>>Get in the shower.
>>
>>Wash your face.
>>
>>Wash your armpits.
>>
>>Blow your nose in your hands and let  the water rinse them off.
>>
>>Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds  in the shower.
>>
>>Spend  majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
>>
>>Wash your bum, leaving those coarse  bum hairs stuck on the soap.
>>
>>Wash your hair.
>>
>>Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
>>
>>Wee.
>>
>>Rinse off and get out of  shower.
>>
>>Partially dry  off.
>>
>>Fail to notice  water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath
>>the
>>whole time.
>>
>>Admire willy size in mirror  again.
>>
>>Leave shower  curtain open, wet mat on floor,light and fan on.
>>
>>Return to bedroom with towel around  waist.
>>
>>If you pass wife,  pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the
>>'woo-woo'
>>sound again.
>>
>>Throw wet towel on  bed.

[Geoff_N]

Such uncanny accuracy! 

[SharonBell]

How did you get all this on me? Really! Is there NO privacy now??