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Odd, revolting

Started by Ed, September 21, 2006, 04:59:20 AM

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Ed

I'm not sure whether this is some kind of propaganda exercise on behalf of the anti abortion lobby, but it strikes me as peculiar that they should have such a tiny hat, ready and waiting for what is essentially a foetus. 

The woman lost her baby 17 weeks into the pregnancy, and then went on to take the dead foetus home, coddle it, let her other children hold it, dress it up, photograph it, etc.  It seems like a very morose thing to do, to me.  I suppose it might be some new kind of grief counselling, but there's something very wrong with this, I think.

http://www.edensgarden.org/ take a look at the photo galleries, or don't. :/
Planning is an unnatural process - it is much more fun to do something.  The nicest thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise, rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression. [Sir John Harvey-Jones]

SharonBell

Good grief. I know in Victorian times it was commonplace to take photos of the dead dressed in their finest. It was re-visited in The Others with Nicole Kidman.

Everyone has a right to grieve in a manner that is appropriate for them. I find this website to be bizarre. I have NEVER heard of a hospital allowing a family to take their dead (at any age) home with them. The NORM is for the funeral home to pick up the body and prepare it at their premises. Maybe the laws/norms in Washington State (land of interesting people) are different.

And, I have to wonder about the impact on the living children of having each of them hold a stillborn infant. What if the kid didn't WANT to hold it? Were they forced? The expressions on their faces are telling. For whose benefit was that? Mom? Dad? I hope they all get some therapy.  The kids, especially, will need it.
"Be good and you'll be lonesome." Mark Twain

www.sharonbuchbinder.com

Walker

I think that's sad and disgusting. Mom and dad's obvious psychosis will no doubt affect those poor kids for the rest of their lives. After seeing that, how could they (children) ever imagine the deceased child as anything but what they saw? Wouldn't it be better to let the children imagine the deceased as they would wish-- perhaps happy; smiling even; a being of light or a freed spirit/soul?
I would never traumatize my children that way-- and there's no way they could consider it anything but traumatic and damaging. I can barely believe that site is real, except for the fact that I've learned to never underestimate how twisted some people can be.
:/
"Lord, here comes the flood, we will say goodbye to flesh and blood. If, again, the seas are silent in any still alive, it'll be those who gave their island to survive. Drink up, dreamers, you're running dry."
Peter Gabriel.

Steffi

I can't even find any words to describe how terrible I think this is... :(
~~~ Men are like lava lamps, fun to look at but not very bright ~~~

Ed

I agree with you, Walker - much better for the children to imagine a perfect little agelic baby than to know the truth.  Kids are surprisingly resilient, but also remarkably fragile, and things/traumas you think they've forgotten, or dealt with well at the time, tend to resurface months later, and it's only then you realise the full impact it had on them.  My kids only recently showed their grief at our dog dying in December - it's taken until now to sink in, I think. 

Heaven help these kids after seeing what they've seen.  Terrible.
Planning is an unnatural process - it is much more fun to do something.  The nicest thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise, rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression. [Sir John Harvey-Jones]

Walker

When I was 10 my father was nearly killed in an airplane crash. The doctors were convinced he could still die from his injuries, so my mother thought it best if I spent a few minutes with him, one last time. His entire body was burned and he had many, many broken bones-- including his back in two places. His head had swollen up nearly twice it's size and was black and burnt. His hair was all burned off, and he was crying as he spoke to me with tears running down his cheeks. I can't imagine what he was feeling at the time.
That single incident has affected me for the past 30 years now. He pulled through, just barely, but even now I can hardley look at him without seeing a burned, crushed, messed up man.
My point (finally) being that I went along with what my mother thought was best-- but it wasn't what was best. God bless her, I love her like any son loves his mom, but theres no way I could ever put my kids through that kind of thing.
Blunt, you're right; kids are both resilient and fragile at the same time. If my father had passed away, would he have wanted to say goodbye to me if he knew how much it would hurt me, or would he rather I remember him as I had last seen him-- a strong, proud man?
In my book it's not a tough call.
"Lord, here comes the flood, we will say goodbye to flesh and blood. If, again, the seas are silent in any still alive, it'll be those who gave their island to survive. Drink up, dreamers, you're running dry."
Peter Gabriel.