Ah Toad Ya So!

[SharonBell]

Toad the Size of a Small Dog Captured
http://news.aol.com/topnews/articles/_a/toad-the-size-of-a-small-dog-captured/20070327081909990001?ncid=NWS00010000000001

[Walker]

I saw that earlier on today and could barely believe the size of the thing. 
Just imagine the number of acid-freaks that could have a party with that single toad! It boggles the mind.

[Geoff_N]

Here's another more scary toad
http://www.contactmusic.com/news.nsf/article/cowells%20brother%20to%20judge%20author%20tv%20talent%20show_1024666

Geoff

[Ed]

Just think how many bugs it'd have to eat to get that big   Dunno if you get a prog like our 'You Are What You Eat' over in the States/Canada, where a dietitian confronts morbidly obese people with their food intake for the week, which usually consists of umpteen bottles of Coke, loads of burgers, french fries, potato crisps, cakes, donuts, you name it - all laid out on tables for them to see. I'm imagining that toad on the show, confronted by a wisened little Scottish woman, a big bucket of slugs, a bucket or two of mixed beetles and dead flies, crickets, and just a little bit of grass and pond water. Her saying, "Look at this - aren't you ashamed of yourself, now?" And the toad blinking nonchelantly.

Probably one of those things you have to see to know what the hell I'm going on about, but hey... 

[SharonBell]

Yo, sit in McDonald's long enough and you'll see toads everywhere, blinking, and sucking down the lovely transfats, etc. 

[Ed]

Yeah, I know. One of my abiding memories of the USA was coming down to breakfast in the hotel restaurant, having our usual bowl of cornflakes and coffee (one has to make concessions when the only tea you can get has a string and label attached) and the waitress saying, "Is that all you're going to eat?" Meanwhile, across the aisle from us, the Family Lard (300lb children with 600lb parents) sat down to a breakfast of two quarter pounder cheeseburgers and a mountain of fries each, washed down with about a gallon of 'diet' coke each. Jeysus - I couldn't even have eaten that much for dinner, let alone breakfast.

[Ed]

Here's another more scary toad
http://www.contactmusic.com/news.nsf/article/cowells%20brother%20to%20judge%20author%20tv%20talent%20show_1024666

Geoff

Can't see how that'll work, really Should be interesting, though. Any idea when it starts?

[canadian]

Here's an interesting view of how this "Publish My Book" show might well go down:

http://hedgedefender.blogspot.com/

[Geoff_N]

Good link, Donna, although I suppose all of us here knew all that.

The Simon Cowel bro doing a reality TV show to find an author is both scary and fascinating. I wouldn't mind putting myself
forward for being locked up in a mansion with great wits and
beautiful people! You can imagine they'll choose the usual mix of a
geriatric, nubile beauty queen, pop singer wannabe, loud eccentric,
the ugly and weird. The last would have to be me...

Then would we have writing assignments? Knock up a 6000 word chapter
where Satan in disguise uses Earth as a pool ball. Written in the
style of a gothic blood letting but with a twist of humour and a
sting in the tail. The worst one is voted off, never to be published.
Blacklisted and a life in therapy.

Come to think of it, forget the TV programme, real life is too much
like it!

Geoff

[Ed]

Yeesh - I hate reality TV. I think I'm gradually getting more misanthropic and less tolerant of the general public and their taste for utterly banal programming as I get older. I also hate the cynical way the media build people up only to knock them down six months later. I particularly hate daytime TV shows where white trash families come on the programme with the sole intention of telling the world their ugly little secrets and get their children's DNA test results, so they know once and for all who the father is

It scares me that there are so many idiots out there.

[SharonBell]

You mean the idjits aren't just in the USA? I thought those people only lived in our South. You have DNA test morons, too??? 

[Ed]

Yes. Sadly, the rest of the world's image of the stereotypical England, isn't accurate. We're actually overrun with scumbags and wankers. That's why loads of us are emigrating, I think. I know five familes planning to move out this year - one to France, two to Spain, one to Ireland and one to Australia. All good people, too. Maybe that's how some countries end up being a canker on the face of the Earth - all the decent people move out, leaving behind the vacuous sludge of humanity to fester in their own dirt?

[canadian]

We're actually overrun with scumbags and wankers. That's why loads of us are emigrating, I think.

Ah, so THAT'S why my Flirtybee is so anxious to move over here. And here's me thinking it was all due to my Canadian beauty & intelligence! tee hee!

Yes, the Bee is finally coming to Canada for a looonnngggg time.  I'm flying over on May 17 to spend two weeks with him (and hook up with some other writer friends at Stratford-upon-Avon on May 26). Then, on June 1, the two of us are flying back together. There's plans in the works that include bells.

Funny how I can end up talkin' romance drivel when this thread started with a monstrous toad tale.

[SharonBell]

It brings out the beast in us! ;-D

[Ed]

There's plans in the works that include bells.

I assume you're not talking campanology lessons  Has Doug met a Canadian winter yet? It has to be seen and felt to be believed, if you're a Brit - we just don't get minus fifty at any time of the year.

Good luck on all fronts, both of you