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Author Topic: The good morning, good night thread  (Read 702500 times)
Ed
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« Reply #840 on: March 04, 2009, 02:29:00 AM »

I'd say he falls into the 'average but lazy' category, and I can't say much about his current friends' suitability/worthiness, other than they're unremarkable - i.e. AFAIK they don't lead him astray or inspire him to any great degree. He did recently lose his best friend, because his parents relocated, which he took pretty hard, so he's had to make new connections with the kids around him that I'm reluctant to break.

When I was his age I had already moved around from school to school all over the country, and I hated always being the new kid who had to fit in and make new friends. It was hard. I lost all my close friends to another school when I moved up to secondary, and the only kids I knew from my old school were the geeky kids, but I remember it not mattering too much when it came down to it, because within a month or two I had a whole bunch of new friends. It was difficult at the time, and I think it will be miserable for him, but he'll get through it, I suppose.

Thanks for the input smiley
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Planning is an unnatural process - it is much more fun to do something.  The nicest thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise, rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression. [Sir John Harvey-Jones]
delph_ambi
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« Reply #841 on: March 04, 2009, 03:51:25 AM »

Second school, without a doubt.

He keeps his mates. That matters. A lot.

It may be a pretty average school, but pretty average schools can turn out exceptional kids. I sent two of mine to the local comp - easy walking distance, bog standard comp, they each won the school cup for highest GCSE results, re-located to a top quality sixth form college after GCSEs, and ended up at good universities doing exactly what they wanted to do. And they kept their friends.
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starktheground
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« Reply #842 on: March 05, 2009, 08:24:52 PM »

I'm with Delph. I'm slightly biased, though. I can't stand to see parents who push their kids too hard at everything; it's almost like they're pushing so hard for the future that they don't have time to enjoy the present. I've known kids that are so overwhelmed by their parents' eagerness in their schooling and extracurricular activities that they've seemed to lose a bit of their childhood. It's just my opinion, but as long as my son makes good grades, stays out of trouble and seems to be learning the right morals, I try not to push him too hard. Let him be a kid, and enjoy it!
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Ed
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« Reply #843 on: March 06, 2009, 02:40:50 AM »

Yeah - I agree. I hate pushy parents, especially when you see the distress in their child that they're oblivious to. Too many of these kids go on to mental breakdowns, and there's even the occasional suicide. The thing is, though, with this in mind we've consciously not pushed either of our kids academically - we've encouraged them to enjoy their childhood, be outdoorsy, be secure in their own skins, and have left their education firmly in the hands of the professionals, but neither of them is doing well in school, so I guess we're doing something wrong. We've now been told (in the last year he's at this school) that our eldest has got 'processing difficulties'. Now, whether this is a real condition, or whether it's just that he spends too much time off with the fairies is anybody's guess, but I wonder if a new setting with new friends would help, or make him worse scratch
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Planning is an unnatural process - it is much more fun to do something.  The nicest thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise, rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression. [Sir John Harvey-Jones]
delph_ambi
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« Reply #844 on: March 06, 2009, 03:14:03 AM »

My other daughter - the one who didn't go to the bog standard comp - has got what you might call 'extreme' processing difficulties. At the age of 25, she still can't talk, and can only understand half a dozen words. She went to a school that always came at the bottom of the league tables, because nobody there ever managed a GCSE. However, it was possibly the best school in the county, and she had a great time. Okay, that's an extreme example, but if your kids aren't doing brilliantly academically, it's more often than not because it's too hard for them. It's great if they're clever-clogs, of course, but if their skills lie elsewhere than academia, then that's great too, and it doesn't matter; the important thing is that they're encouraged in the things they can do, and not made to feel inadequate for the things they can't. Putting a child who is not particularly academic in what is effectively a grammar school, is not a very kind thing to do.
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Geoff_N
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« Reply #845 on: March 06, 2009, 05:35:05 PM »

Second school would be my choice. It was our choice for my daughter. She was fed up being in my clever cloggs son's shadow all her school life, so she didn't want to go to his high school. By coincidence his school was the one I taught at. Her choice was chosen because her best friend went there. Ummm. It was a damned nuisance because she made more friends, all on the wrong side of town - (not wrong side of the tracks) so we spent hours and energy costs ferrying her to friends, them to us, her to all her fads - ballet, singing, gymnastics, horseriding etc all with friends miles away. However, she was happy and did  better at that school than she would have done at her brothers. Happiness is  the key. Ed, you can always join the Home-School organisation and raise funds to update equipment. I just hope the other teachers are better than the ones you  talked to.

Geoff
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Pharosian
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« Reply #846 on: March 06, 2009, 10:18:44 PM »

Could someone please translate for the American audience what "bog standard comp" means? Thanks!  Wink
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« Reply #847 on: March 06, 2009, 10:31:12 PM »

"Bog standard" is almost equivalent to or equal to "de facto standard". "Comp" in this context is, as I take it, Comprehensive, meaning a Comprehensive school; "A comprehensive school is a secondary school and State school for children from the age of 11 to at least 16 that does not select children on the basis of academic achievement or aptitude. "

hope this helps.

all the best
Woody
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Ed
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« Reply #848 on: March 07, 2009, 02:46:23 AM »

There's another angle to this, too (who could guess such things would be so complicated?). The third school is rural, and the second is in town. Our kids have grown up and been schooled in the village all these years and are very much country kids, rather than being streetwise. Either way, I think it's going to be a big culture shock for them scratch

Thanks for all the input so far, everybody.
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Planning is an unnatural process - it is much more fun to do something.  The nicest thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise, rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression. [Sir John Harvey-Jones]
delph_ambi
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« Reply #849 on: March 07, 2009, 03:23:06 AM »

The town/country dilemma's probably a bit of a red herring. You ideally need experience of both. I went to a rural primary school, a town centre secondary, a rural college in the heart of Devon, followed by post-grad at Uni in south London (Goldsmith's). Which did I like best? Well I hated the secondary school, because it was a direct grant (spit) snob school, but I loved all the others.
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« Reply #850 on: March 07, 2009, 05:55:16 AM »

My daugher's chosen secondary school was rural, my son's urban. It took him a few months but he learnt more than Mathematics and English, etc: he learnt how to avoid trouble and to spot it coming. Yes, it was a school with a rough Liverpool overspill as well as posh genteel Chester. The experience has helped  him enormously to cope with living in Nottingham now.

What Delph says is right IMO. The location of the school is not important although the pupil's sociological intake will affect things one way or the other.  Much depends on the child and how adaptable they are.

Geoff

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Ed
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« Reply #851 on: March 09, 2009, 04:22:31 PM »

We're appealing to get him into the third school, with the attitude that if he gets in it's meant to be and if he doesn't then that's alright, too. I really don't know what to do for the best, but after seeing all three schools with my own eyes I think he would do better in the long term if he goes to the newer school.

I've seen it so many times where old staff taint the newcomers with a sense of hopelessness and despair that comes with making do with old faulty equipment in cold, ill equipped rooms. It happens in schools, factories, offices. You end up with a big miserable slug of an organisation that's incapable of inspiring anybody who has to work there towards greater things. I think there's something to be said for new beginnings, with good, new equipment, light, spacious and well heated workspaces - if you give people pleasant surroundings to work in, it raises morale, and the opposite is also true. My gut feeling tells me the third school is the best of the three.

On a completely separate note, something funny happened at work today. The foreman is the most accident prone person I've met in a long while, and today I could see exactly what was going to happen. We're refurbing a pub and making it into a hotel. It's due to open in a couple of day's time, so the brewery lorry turned up today with barrels of beer that had to make it down the half built cellar steps, which are steep and uneven. I watched as the brewery worker rolled a barrel over to Brian, saying, "It's heavy, mind." Brian struggles to pick it up, turns awkwardly, takes two steps down into the cellar, his eyes widen and his body begins to tilt at a precarious angle, he shouts, "Beeeelooowwww!" and disappears from sight, headfirst.

I truly feared what I was going to see when I looked down the stairwell, but Brian had landed on the landlord, who had broken his fall. Somebody lifted the barrel of beer out of the way to rreveal the landlord, who sputtered, shaking his head and blinking, "What happened?" To which Brian replied, " I dunno - I've only just got here myself."
« Last Edit: March 09, 2009, 04:22:52 PM by Ed » Logged

Planning is an unnatural process - it is much more fun to do something.  The nicest thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise, rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression. [Sir John Harvey-Jones]
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« Reply #852 on: March 09, 2009, 09:29:12 PM »

  Now, that must have been something to see!

Hope everything works out at the school for ya; there's nothing wrong with following your instincts, especially when it comes to your children!
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Ed
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« Reply #853 on: March 10, 2009, 03:25:15 AM »

Thanks for the support, Angela.

How's your pregnancy going? I guess you're at the stage now where you just want it over with smiley
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Planning is an unnatural process - it is much more fun to do something.  The nicest thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise, rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression. [Sir John Harvey-Jones]
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« Reply #854 on: March 11, 2009, 06:08:02 AM »

'I only just got here myself' Brilliant, Ed  hah.

I'm feeling chipper  cos I have three articles in a book that won an EPPIE Award last week in Vegas. Details here
http://geoffnelder.wordpress.com/2009/03/11/my-writing-wins-an-eppie/

I know awards don't increase sales significantly but it's good to have recognition in the industry.

Geoff
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