gfxgfx
 
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
 
gfx gfx
gfxgfx
 
Got a few minutes to kill? Try the Doom Flash Challenge afro - http://www.cafedoom.com/forum/index.php/board,36.0.html
 
gfx gfx
gfx
55850 Posts in 6180 Topics by 556 Members - Latest Member: wallynicholson666 December 11, 2017, 02:30:32 AM
*
gfx* HomeForumHelpLoginRegistergfx
gfxgfx
0 Members and 5 Guests are viewing this topic.       « previous next »
Pages: 1 ... 9 10 11 12 [13] 14 15 16 17 ... 323 Go Down Print
Author Topic: The good morning, good night thread  (Read 587984 times)
SamLeeFreak
Coroner
*****

Karma: +0/-0
Offline Offline

Posts: 506


Come here, let me creep you out.


« Reply #180 on: December 26, 2007, 10:39:22 AM »

Well, the prezzies went down a treat. I bought my wife a little something extra on top of the red wellies - I've been meaning to get her an eternity ring for a while now. Back in January of last year we were looking at them on holiday in Lanzerote, but didn't see any we really liked. So I thought I would have one made for her as a surprise. It's a bit of a long story, in all, but I've got all day and so have you, I expect.

The day before we got married, ten years ago, my wife was walking up through town with a bunch of flowers in hand, wearing a summer dress, looking forward to the big day, when suddenly, out of nowhere, she was accosted by an old hag. This old gypsy woman was offering to read fortunes, palms, etc. My future wife was up for that, being quite superstitious, especially with her not wanting to upset the old hag on the day before her wedding. So the old hag reads her palm and as they part she puts two glass beads into her hand and says, "These are for your two boys." We didn't have any kids at the time, but when the two of them were born, one had very dark hair, the other was mousy - the glass beads were blue for boys, but one was dark and the other lighter. It just seemed quite fitting somehow.

Anyway, instead of getting the standard eternity ring with rubies or sapphires I thought it would be nice to do something a bit different. So I got the jeweller (same one who sold me the engagement and the wedding ring) to make me a half eternity with three diamonds with one deep blue sapphire and one pale blue (London blue) topaz set in an 18ct mount. Ordered it weeks ago and finally got to pick it up last thursday night (I was a bit worried it wouldn't be ready in time).

I wrapped it individually and stuffed it into one of the red wellies, so it would be a nice surprise for Mrs Ed. She is delighted with it - speechless for a while. Result afro



Awww, that is SO romantic! 
Logged
Ed
The Mastah, muahahaaaa....
Administrator
***

Karma: +6/-1
Offline Offline

Posts: 11069


Don't look behind you!!!!!


« Reply #181 on: December 26, 2007, 03:00:45 PM »

You think? smiley Everybody else has been saying that, too. I didn't do it with that intention - I just thought it would be a nice thing to do. Something a bit special in this age of rubber stamped uniformity afro
Logged

Planning is an unnatural process - it is much more fun to do something.  The nicest thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise, rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression. [Sir John Harvey-Jones]
Ed
The Mastah, muahahaaaa....
Administrator
***

Karma: +6/-1
Offline Offline

Posts: 11069


Don't look behind you!!!!!


« Reply #182 on: December 26, 2007, 07:39:49 PM »

Wow - what a weirdo. One of my oldest friends came around for lunch today. While talking, I asked how his brother (we'll call him 'Billy') was, and it turned out he's just split up with his girlfriend. His girlfriend (we'll call her 'Wendy The Nutball') always struck me as a bit weird - the type of person who displays 'unexpected' behaviour. For example, if you give her a wrapped present, she begins to behave like she's five years old, making all the little shrieking noises that an excited child might, while wearing a gleeful expression and blinking more than is normal.

Anyway, they lived together for quite a few years, right next to (in the shadow of) a canal that literally brims with water whenever it rains particularly hard for a few days in a row, but it never actually bursts its banks. The banks of the canal rise up to about eight feet above ground level and the water in the canal flows past his house about level with the tops of his ground floor windows when it's at its highest. Suffice to say the groundwater level is high, and the ground thereabouts particularly boggy for much of the year.

She had a dog when they first met - the biggest blackest Doberman you've ever seen in your life. She used to take it to training classes and, after a while, got into taking it to those agility competitions, where they did quite well.

Life ticked along. Time passed, as it does. The dog died of old age a year ago. The relationship between Billy and Wendy gradually soured. They finally split a week ago. Since Billy had a house before they moved in together, they agreed that she would in the event of a breakup only be entitled to a percentage of the house value that took into account and reflected Billy's initial investment. Despite this, the breakup became quite acrimonious, they haggled over the value of the house and how much he had to pay her when she moved out. Eventually they went to arbitration, the deal was hammered out, she took the built-in machinery from the kitchen, this that and the other, took the money and left. Hey-ho, thinks Billy, such is life. Shit happens.

A couple of days ago, he comes home from the pub, staggers through the front garden, a bit worse for wear (shitfaced) and falls headlong into a big muddy hole that's brimming with ice cold bog water. It's a big hole - very deep (approx 6ft). And this is where the truth really is stranger than fiction.

She -- Wendy The Nutball -- had returned while he was out, shovel in hand, dug up the dog and took it with her whoah

What a loon, eh? hiding
« Last Edit: December 27, 2007, 07:49:59 AM by Ed » Logged

Planning is an unnatural process - it is much more fun to do something.  The nicest thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise, rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression. [Sir John Harvey-Jones]
Sallyq
Mortician
****

Karma: +0/-0
Offline Offline

Posts: 349



WWW
« Reply #183 on: December 27, 2007, 03:52:44 AM »

Oh my God! Shocked I thought she was going to have turned out throw poor Billy in the canal, but somehow this is weirder!

It's a great story though, isn't it?
Logged

Ed
The Mastah, muahahaaaa....
Administrator
***

Karma: +6/-1
Offline Offline

Posts: 11069


Don't look behind you!!!!!


« Reply #184 on: December 27, 2007, 07:53:29 AM »

Yeah, but you really can't imagine any sane person doing such a thing, can you? I'd be very worried about having her around grin

Can you imagine what a state that dog must have been in after a year buried in that sodden wet soil? Can't have been pretty undecided
Logged

Planning is an unnatural process - it is much more fun to do something.  The nicest thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise, rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression. [Sir John Harvey-Jones]
Sallyq
Mortician
****

Karma: +0/-0
Offline Offline

Posts: 349



WWW
« Reply #185 on: December 27, 2007, 08:37:55 AM »

It's very strange, and no, the dog wouldn't have looked (or smelled) very good, would it? Ugh!
Logged

neilmarr
Coffin Maker
***

Karma: +0/-0
Offline Offline

Posts: 109


WWW
« Reply #186 on: December 27, 2007, 10:26:38 AM »

What a tale, Ed. N
Logged
Ed
The Mastah, muahahaaaa....
Administrator
***

Karma: +6/-1
Offline Offline

Posts: 11069


Don't look behind you!!!!!


« Reply #187 on: December 27, 2007, 11:43:53 AM »

One of the books my lass, Skovia, got for Christmas was a 311-page collection of short stories and poetry called 'La Disparition' by French author Georges Perec. It appealed to her sense of humour because he's written the entire thing without once using the letter 'e'. Why? Neil

What was that about then, Neil? Do you mean he simply left out the letter, replaced it with another, or that he only used words that didn't contain the letter?

Could it be as simple as something like a broken typewriter? scratch
Logged

Planning is an unnatural process - it is much more fun to do something.  The nicest thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise, rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression. [Sir John Harvey-Jones]
Geoff_N
Critter
***

Karma: +3/-1
Offline Offline

Posts: 2732



WWW
« Reply #188 on: December 27, 2007, 01:12:44 PM »

A lipogram is a story written without words of a particular letter. A story without E was Gadsby written in the 1930s by an eccentric but I've forgotten his name.

So today we've been in Nottingham in the shops - aaaarrrggh. Actually, Gaynor ended up buying nothing but while she spent hours fighting crowds in shoe and clothing shops, I spent a pleasant 20 mins buying some gear in a bike shop and finished off a story on my laptop in Starbucks! Magic.

BTW I had a neighbour who loved his dog more than people and he dug up and took a buried dog with him when he moved house. His dog was in a coffin so it wouldn't be so ghoulish as your mate's ex-partner's experience.

Geoff
Logged

PaulH
Mortician
****

Karma: +0/-0
Offline Offline

Posts: 270



« Reply #189 on: December 27, 2007, 06:09:00 PM »

That is a truly bizarre story.

Sadly, I had to bury my cat today. She died on Boxing Day night.  Cry
Logged
Ed
The Mastah, muahahaaaa....
Administrator
***

Karma: +6/-1
Offline Offline

Posts: 11069


Don't look behind you!!!!!


« Reply #190 on: December 27, 2007, 06:18:01 PM »

Sorry to hear that, Paul undecided

I'm not a cat lover, but I remember how I felt when our dog died a couple of Christmases ago - it's like losing one of the family, only worse, because you actually liked the old bugger.
Logged

Planning is an unnatural process - it is much more fun to do something.  The nicest thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise, rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression. [Sir John Harvey-Jones]
Geoff_N
Critter
***

Karma: +3/-1
Offline Offline

Posts: 2732



WWW
« Reply #191 on: December 28, 2007, 05:31:43 AM »

Billy's house:  the water in the canal flows past his house about level with the tops of his ground floor windows when it's at its highest.

... and you call Wendy a loon!!!

Tell Billy to get out of that house!!! We're gonna have more floods not less.

Geoff
Logged

Ed
The Mastah, muahahaaaa....
Administrator
***

Karma: +6/-1
Offline Offline

Posts: 11069


Don't look behind you!!!!!


« Reply #192 on: December 28, 2007, 05:37:42 AM »

Billy's house:  the water in the canal flows past his house about level with the tops of his ground floor windows when it's at its highest.

... and you call Wendy a loon!!!

Tell Billy to get out of that house!!! We're gonna have more floods not less.

Geoff

Yeah, I agree - must admit I was alarmed by the level of the water in that canal and absolutely could not live in the shadow of the thing like he does. Sure, it's beautiful in the summer months, but in the winter - dear God - you cannot possibly relax with that thing brimming less than ten feet away. rolleyes
Logged

Planning is an unnatural process - it is much more fun to do something.  The nicest thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise, rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression. [Sir John Harvey-Jones]
Ed
The Mastah, muahahaaaa....
Administrator
***

Karma: +6/-1
Offline Offline

Posts: 11069


Don't look behind you!!!!!


« Reply #193 on: December 28, 2007, 04:23:19 PM »

Well, I've been really busy again for the past few days. Went out and bought a new telly yesterday in the sales - bought a 42" Samsung plasma screen thingy, with a surround sound gubbins, complete with a DVD player and black glass stand. That's getting delivered (hopefully) on Monday. Went out and bought a new carpet for the living room, today, and that's getting fitted on Wednsday. Also went out and bought a pair of huge sofas, which are getting delivered on Friday. Spent an absolute sodding fortune undecided
Logged

Planning is an unnatural process - it is much more fun to do something.  The nicest thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise, rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression. [Sir John Harvey-Jones]
Sallyq
Mortician
****

Karma: +0/-0
Offline Offline

Posts: 349



WWW
« Reply #194 on: December 28, 2007, 05:15:30 PM »

Did you win the lottery or something, Ed? Or are you really JK Rowling, only pretending to be the mild-mannered  host of a Dark Fiction forum?   santa_cheesy

I bought vegetables today ... Oh and a melon. On reflection I'd prefer a plasma TV.
Logged

gfx
Pages: 1 ... 9 10 11 12 [13] 14 15 16 17 ... 323 Go Up Print 
gfx
Jump to:  
gfx
Powered by SMF 1.1.20 | SMF © 2013, Simple Machines Page created in 0.084 seconds with 30 queries.
Helios /
gfx
Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!