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Author Topic: The good morning, good night thread  (Read 588938 times)
fnord33
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« Reply #3030 on: April 28, 2011, 04:15:25 AM »

I think my plumbing's out to get me.  undecided

Same here. I've suspected for some time now that a plumber was murdered in my house and his angry ghost works night and day to wreak it's vengeance. In addition to my pipes all leaking no matter how many times I have them professionally fixed, I am also occasionally plagued by the mysterious appearance of a beige goo that drips out of thin air onto the display case where I keep my jars of testicles, hearts and other assorted curios.  Anybody know how to get rid of a dead plumber?

Hope fnord and all his people are all right. Massive storms tore through his neck of the woods today, tornados and all...  undecided

It's funny you mention that. The mile-wide tornado was supposed to be passing directly over my house, but I didn't even lose power. The news said it was the biggest tornado in Alabama history. I must have been just outside it's path. Oh well, we'll try again tomorrow.
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« Reply #3031 on: April 28, 2011, 07:57:37 AM »

beige goo that drips out of thin air onto the display case where I keep my jars of testicles, hearts and other assorted curios.  Anybody know how to get rid of a dead plumber?

Maybe you should get rid of his assorted bits?  scratch
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fnord33
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« Reply #3032 on: April 28, 2011, 05:52:52 PM »

beige goo that drips out of thin air onto the display case where I keep my jars of testicles, hearts and other assorted curios.  Anybody know how to get rid of a dead plumber?

Maybe you should get rid of his assorted bits?  scratch

They aren't his bits. I don't know why he finds them so fascinating. There isn't any plumbing around the display, so I assume that's where he spends his down time. To the best of my knowledge I have never killed a plumber. I don't know what he has against me. I've tried everything to get in his good graces. I baked him cookies and flushed them down the toilet. I pour coffee down the sink every morning. I even have a little shrine where I grind PVC into dust and burn solder in his honor. Maybe I'm doing something wrong. What do plumbers like? 
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« Reply #3033 on: April 28, 2011, 06:15:19 PM »

IwillnotmakebadjokesaboutcoedsandboredhousewivesIwillnotmakebadjokesaboutcoedsandboredhousewivesIwillnot....
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« Reply #3034 on: April 28, 2011, 09:30:08 PM »

I am also occasionally plagued by the mysterious appearance of a beige goo that drips out of thin air onto the display case where I keep my jars of testicles...


You keep your testicles in a jar?  scratch
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Ed
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« Reply #3035 on: April 29, 2011, 03:21:02 AM »

I am also occasionally plagued by the mysterious appearance of a beige goo that drips out of thin air onto the display case where I keep my jars of testicles...


You keep your testicles in a jar?  scratch

Only those of people he considers to have been less than complimentary about his writing. He has a demijohn full of nipples as well.
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« Reply #3036 on: April 29, 2011, 03:24:53 AM »

Only those of people he considers to have been less than complimentary about his writing. He has a demijohn full of nipples as well.

Okay, that's creepy. How'd you know that. hiding
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« Reply #3037 on: April 29, 2011, 09:14:13 AM »

Well, that puts me out of this month's critique session, then!  Shocked




Just kidding... I think.  tongue
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« Reply #3038 on: May 02, 2011, 05:44:38 AM »

I'm not sure why, but I found the jubilation on the streets of Washington over Bin Laden's death a bit distasteful. I think it's because the scenes are reminiscent of crowds of baying muslims celebrating every atrocity where Brits or Americans are killed. Maybe it's just that it is, at its root, nothing more than a display of primitive tribalism, and we like to think we're somehow more advanced and more sophisticated than that.

Don't get me wrong, I have no sympathy for Bin Laden and I have no problem with him dying 'by the sword'. What does his death actually achieve, though, beyond public retribution? Does revenge not beget retalliation? Doesn't it just perpetuate misery? I suppose the policy makers have to weigh the message it sends to would be terrorists that there's nowhere to hide, against the fire it starts in the bellies in those same people. In some ways, if Bin Laden is indeed important in any way other than a figurehead, it might have been better to dispatch him using a mysterious and unexplained explosion. That way the man is dead, but there is potentially no retalliation to come.

I don't know scratch

On a personal front, we've had a very boozy weekend, which is very unusual for us. On Friday we had a street party for the royal wedding, where I drank a whole box of lager over the course of the afternoon and evening, and my wife drank a bottle of wine to herself. I looked up the recommended intake amounts online, and that alone was the total recommended maximum for the week. Then we went to a wedding reception and evening do on Saturday night where we drank a load more. Funny, though -- we had both stopped drinking well before closing time, because we felt like we'd had enough. Luckily neither of us suffered hangovers on either occasion. Had plenty of water to drink and a couple ibuprofen before bed and woke up fine the next day. I don't intend to make a habit of it, though -- I don't think my liver could cope.
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« Reply #3039 on: May 02, 2011, 11:25:15 AM »

The public displays of jubilation are not surprising. I too, find them distasteful. And I agree, revenge does beget retaliation.

I think Bin Laden’s violent death was inevitable; the public, military and government would allow nothing else. There was no chance of a trial, and I have to say that bothers me a bit. I have no doubt of his guilt, nor do I think he deserved any better than he got, but I believe justice will always be illusory without due process. It weakens our position on the moral high ground.

IMO, public celebration at any death helps cement the name and face of the boogeyman into our collective memory. Bin Laden was a murderer, when it comes down to it--calling him anything else just heightens the mythos around him. And unfortunately, his name will be remembered, while his victims’ will slip into the ether of history.

A better way to celebrate his death is a solemn reflection of the lives and contributions of his victims, and the hope that those left behind will be able to live a safer life without him. I only wish that were true.

Of course, on a more cheerful note, this whole thing is going to result in some entertaining conspiracy theories. afro
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« Reply #3040 on: May 02, 2011, 11:50:44 AM »

Quote
Of course, on a more cheerful note, this whole thing is going to result in some entertaining conspiracy theories.

According to the BBC Bin Laden was shot dead with two bullets to the head (by Navy SEALS) and, after identification, was buried at sea within 24 hours.

Although not wanting to initiate any conspiracy theories myself, I did hear that the disfigurement from the explosive tipped bullets was such that identification was, at best, a lottery and that the quick burial was to prevent any possibility of argument or investigation. There's also reliable reports that the Trump-Obama situation is such that the President desperately needed something very special to announce in order to regain the initiative and that it's surely just a coincidence that a massive amount of money (hundreds of millions of dollars, I read) had been wired to a Pakistan account just days ago. It's being denied - and it certainly sounds fanciful - but one Pakistan reporter wrote that Bin Laden, who was never actually found, has agreed to 'disappear' forever in return for all this money provided the Americans stop looking for him. The way it's happens keeps everyone happy except for the poor fellow who took two bullets in the head (and who the aforementioned journalist called a Lee Harvey Oswald character).

But, like I said, I don't want to start any conspiracy theories myself.

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« Reply #3041 on: May 02, 2011, 12:42:53 PM »

Excellent, Dirk. afro
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« Reply #3042 on: May 02, 2011, 08:16:23 PM »

Quote
I'm not sure why, but I found the jubilation on the streets of Washington over Bin Laden's death a bit distasteful. I think it's because the scenes are reminiscent of crowds of baying muslims celebrating every atrocity where Brits or Americans are killed. Maybe it's just that it is, at its root, nothing more than a display of primitive tribalism, and we like to think we're somehow more advanced and more sophisticated than that.

It was pretty ugly, wasn't it? I don't think that's the way the majority of American's reacted though, but it's certain to be what most of the rest of the world sees, and what sticks in people's minds. I was on my front porch drinking beer and playing guitar with an old bandmate who's on two weeks of leave from Afghanistan. His phone rang several times - his mom and sisters calling to excitedely inform him that "We got Bin Laden".

I guess he is sort of a boogeyman, and it's nice and convenient to be able to hang the negative emotions conjured up by terrorist attacks on one man, one face, one name. But it is all more complicated than that, I think. Even though he's credited with masterminding the 9/11 attacks, when you think about the amount hatred and how many people were actually involved, and how life becomes nothing when you can allow yourself to conceptualize it the way people do when they're inflicting violence on one another, it's all just sad, really.

After the third phone call, my friend hung up, finished off the beer he was holding and said, “We got Bin Laden. Who cares? There’s a thousand more just like him, and now that he’s dead, there’ll be more than that. I still have to back on Saturday. So let’s play another song.”

We did.
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« Reply #3043 on: May 03, 2011, 02:47:31 AM »

True dat. All they did was create a void for some lucky underling to fill and an international incident which will likely cause us major trouble in the near future. I knew there would be conspiracy theories before I heard the full details. I think it's interesting that, after a ten year search, they shot him in the head and dumped him in the ocean before anybody could be sure it was him. I think he's going to be like Elvis now. I'll be talking to my grandmother one day and she'll say, "You'll never guess who I ran into down at the Kangaroo mart."       
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marc_chagall
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« Reply #3044 on: May 05, 2011, 04:25:18 AM »

The source of the water on my kitchen floor has been discovered. It's the boiler. Needs a new heat exchanger, whatever one of them is. Engineer says he's never known one of them go on my type of boiler before. Well, great. I knew my plumbing was out to get me. That just proves it. He's going to come back tomorrow morning to do the job.

This is the same boiler that was passed at its annual service just a fortnight ago as having absolutely nothing wrong with it, despite the fact that the lino tiles were starting to lift around its base.  Angry
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