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Author Topic: The good morning, good night thread  (Read 590025 times)
Pharosian
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« Reply #4680 on: June 01, 2015, 12:42:09 AM »

Thanks, Delph. At the moment it's not looking good. Everything from the neck down continues to get better, but today the neurologist came by and performed a couple of tests such as response to pain stimulus (pressing on nail beds) and looking for blink reaction when object approaches eye. He failed the tests, but then they'd only stopped the sedative a couple hours earlier. While I haven't given up quite yet, I've certainly had my black moment. Fingers crossed for improvement as the sedative clears his system.
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Ed
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« Reply #4681 on: June 01, 2015, 02:27:28 AM »

He is a really nice guy and you make a great couple, Pharo -- I hope to God you have many good years ahead together. The waiting in limbo feeling must be excruciating for you, but at least you have hope, and you can bet he is fighting hard to come back. Got everything crossed for you both.
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Planning is an unnatural process - it is much more fun to do something.  The nicest thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise, rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression. [Sir John Harvey-Jones]
Russell
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« Reply #4682 on: June 01, 2015, 01:28:00 PM »

Pharo, what an awful time.  My thoughts are with you.

My wife’s funeral is tomorrow.  I think everything is in order and no one will be disappointed by the music and hymn choices, the content of my remembrances, or the nibbles afterwards.  Trying to keep everyone happy is so stressful. 

The celebrant doing the MC’ing (as he put it), was a minister, but fell out with the Church of England over his private life. He is still ordained so it’ll be a ‘proper’ religious service, but I’ve not told anyone he’s gay.  I wonder how long it’ll take for someone to bring it up.
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Ed
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« Reply #4683 on: June 01, 2015, 04:22:50 PM »

Try not to take on too much responsibility for how other people feel, Russel -- that's a lot of pressure on top of your own grief. I can't imagine anybody will be hurting more than you however it seems and I'm sure whatever you do or say will be fine by everyone there.
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Planning is an unnatural process - it is much more fun to do something.  The nicest thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise, rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression. [Sir John Harvey-Jones]
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« Reply #4684 on: June 05, 2015, 04:24:52 PM »

My goodness, Pharo, I hope it all turns out ok. I can't imagine what you must be going through right now. And Russell, I hope that you're holding up, too. My best wishes to everyone here.

Kind regards
Derek
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Ed
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« Reply #4685 on: June 06, 2015, 09:37:45 AM »

Met with my wife's consultant yesterday and he's of the opinion it isn't cancer. Even if it is, he says it's the most survivable cancer it's possible to get. I don't know if he said that just to reassure us, but we'll take it as good news. The surgery is scheduled for early in July and hopefully that'll be an end to it. If it is then it'll be the best five grand I've ever spent.

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Planning is an unnatural process - it is much more fun to do something.  The nicest thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise, rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression. [Sir John Harvey-Jones]
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« Reply #4686 on: June 08, 2015, 03:36:24 PM »

Thanks, everyone. It's been quite the week. After thinking his sons and I were going to have to make the decision to take him off life support, I was extremely relieved when he finally opened his eyes 9 days after surgery!

Last Thursday morning his nurse told me he'd opened his eyes briefly when she called his name. By afternoon, he was keeping them open for brief stretches in between dozing off again. Friday he kind of relapsed into mostly sleeping. On Saturday he was conscious for several hours. His older son and I spent time with him, but he was still on the ventilator (breathing machine), and his expression was still a bit dull. Early on Sunday he finally came off the ventilator, but he could barely speak.

And today I spent several hours with him, getting him to talk in order to exercise his vocal cords and throat muscles. They won't let him eat or drink anything until they're sure he can do so safely, without aspirating any of it into his lungs. He's mad to have a drink of water, and it's hard to say no. . . but overall he's looking MUCH better, and seems more like himself than he did just two days ago.

He's got some impairment on the left side--he has a lot more trouble moving left arm and leg--but the doctor expects that can be overcome by 6-8 weeks of therapy.

Amazing.
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Pharosian
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« Reply #4687 on: June 08, 2015, 03:41:11 PM »

Pharo, what an awful time.  My thoughts are with you.

My wife’s funeral is tomorrow.  I think everything is in order and no one will be disappointed by the music and hymn choices, the content of my remembrances, or the nibbles afterwards.  Trying to keep everyone happy is so stressful. 

The celebrant doing the MC’ing (as he put it), was a minister, but fell out with the Church of England over his private life. He is still ordained so it’ll be a ‘proper’ religious service, but I’ve not told anyone he’s gay.  I wonder how long it’ll take for someone to bring it up.


Thanks, Russell.

I was so sad to hear that you felt obligated to worry about other people's happiness at such a sorrowful time. My heart goes out to you.

Unfortunate, too, that people are still so hung up about how other people are wired.
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Ed
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« Reply #4688 on: June 10, 2015, 06:24:29 PM »

That's great news, Pharo -- I was starting to fear the worst when I saw you hadn't been online for days. You must be mightily relieved. Best wishes to both of you.
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« Reply #4689 on: June 12, 2015, 02:37:41 AM »

Great news! Fingers crossed for continued improvements and better news all round for everyone!
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« Reply #4690 on: June 13, 2015, 04:08:25 PM »

Thanks Ed and Del. Yesterday he was moved to a rehabilitation facility. He's now allowed to eat (soft foods) and drink, and he's taken his first steps (with assistance). Things are looking up, though there are still hurdles ahead. When I get home from the hospital I tend to fall asleep on the couch.
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Ed
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« Reply #4691 on: June 13, 2015, 06:01:21 PM »

It must be pretty hard going for both of you, Pharo. Glad to hear hubby's doing so well. I hope that was the last op he's going to need and you can both just get on with life from now onwards afro
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« Reply #4692 on: June 14, 2015, 03:13:08 PM »

Been away, both on holiday and then looking after wife's dad, who at 91 was in hospital, then convalescence then home - on his own. He won't have anyone else except close family visit so pressure on us to do carer type things. He doesn't cook, clean, or go out of the house. Wonder if I'll be the same? There seems a gulf between us in outlook, mobility etc yet he's only 23 years older than me.

Pleased to see Pharo's feller pulling through and that Russell is coping so well. You too, Ed. Blimey who else has had issues? I daren't click on the earlier posts!

Hope the summer does us all good.
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Ed
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« Reply #4693 on: July 05, 2015, 03:04:49 PM »

I think we're all hitting that time of life when we're having to look after elderly parents and our own bodies have stopped giving us things and started taking them away. Scary.

My wife made it through the surgery all right. They've taken out all the bits they intended to and now we just have to wait for tests to confirm whether or not it was cancerous. Apparently that will take three weeks. It's not too bad, because they've taken out pretty much everything that would have had to go if it was cancer, so it would only be a small op if they have to go in again.

Paying for private care meant a better room and better food, better contact with the consultant and continuity of care, but care on the ward was just as bad as it ever is with the NHS. The first night they gave her morphine for the pain, but neglected to give her the anti nausea drug that is usually administered at the same time. The nurse said she was going to get it, then didn't return for three hours. In the meantime the nausea struck and my wife had to suffer vomiting with stomach muscles that had only just been sewn back together. The pain was excruciating. Then she sat in her vomit covered night gown all night and most of the next day. Nobody bothered to clean her up or change her into a fresh gown, and she felt too ill to do it herself. I was livid -- had I known it was going on I would have gone in and fired a few fucks into those useless twats while it could still have done some good. The problem was that the op was meant to happen at 6pm, they were late starting, so my wife didn't come out of surgery until 10:30pm and just wanted to sleep, so I was told to stay away.

It feels pretty futile to just write letters of complaint, but that's all I can do now.
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« Reply #4694 on: July 05, 2015, 03:36:13 PM »

So many times, Ed, the kind of service you eventually receive is more to do with the individuals involved rather than the money we spend on it. I have to say I was more than satisfied with the nursing and doctoring I received at Broad Green last June and within a week of being diagnosed. The two cardiologists were highly professional and the scouse nurses were cheeky but clearly loved their job. I admit we paid for a speeded up scan for my wife for a suspicious lump but even then found it was the same staff and equipment the NHS would have used anyway. Probably whether you can pay for better treatment (excepting the mega bucks and royalty) depends on your post code.
Hope your wife recovers soon and that the biopsy is clear.
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