Funeral humour (true incident)

[Geoff_N]

A funny thing happened at a funeral today. 
Sadly my friend and neighbour died recently and suddenly. He and I often joked about who would go first and so I won. No second goes.
We both had medical problems. Mine is a non-life-threatening hearing deficiency, his was more serious and his heart needed to permanently rest.

At the church, St Marks in Saltney, Chester, as I sat in a pew observing those in black around me, I noticed two things. One was I wore non-black, Two was a wire above me in a circuit leading to the microphone in the pulpit. My friend used to rib me about my bicycle riding and once observed (wrongly in my view) that I was nearly taken out by a 4×4. We agreed that if my funeral arrived first, he'd wear a colourful cycling outfit to my funeral and reciprocally I'd wear ditto to his. I chickened out on the full lycra shorts and bright red jersey, but wore a blue cardigan and my green Royal Meteorological Society tie. As for the latter: in the days when I wore ties to work he was the only one who'd ever pointed at the logo on my tie and ask what it was. It's the ancient Tower of the Winds in Athens.

Back to the church and that wire. My new digital hearing aids have a setting for a loop system. This is a cunning closed broadcast device that transmits from a microphone along the wire. A hearing aid switched to loop can pick up the sounds really clearly as long as they are close to the wire. So sitting in the pew and not hearing the lovely lady minister all that well on normal hearing aid settings, I switched to loop. Nope - even worse. But later we had to stand for the prayer and hymns. Bingo! My ears were now sufficiently close to the overhead wire to hear her! Alas she instructed us to sit again for the eulogy and other stuff (sorry religious folks, but it's mumbo jumbo to me - even with good hearing - but I know it was meant with the intention of helping mourners feel better. On the other hand, assume there's no one up there and live a good life to your best because there's no second chance). 

So I could hear standing up but not when sitting down. My neighbour would have laughed the coffin lid into the air if he knew.

[canadian]

Sorry to hear about the passing of your friend, Geoff. But I'm sure he was watching your 'antics' and colourful clothing with glee!

[Ed]

  Love the irony of only being able to hear when you stand up, but all you hear is the command to sit down. Sorry to hear of your friend's passing, though - we get precious few good friends in life, so each one leaves a big void when they go.