Wish granted

[evildeadgirl]

Granted, but they have to play on bicycles.

I wish I lived in Italy.

Granted you live in Italy but you have to work in a manure plant.
I wish I had a pet dinosaur.

[Caz]

Granted, but it's a T-Rex and it's hungry.

I wish my car was faster.

[JonP]

Granted, but you're going downhill and the brakes have failed.

I wish I were twenty years younger.

[Ed]

Granted - you are twenty years younger than my nan.

I wish to be able to get to sleep early tonight, because I have to get up at 5am

[evildeadgirl]

Granted - you are twenty years younger than my nan.

I wish to be able to get to sleep early tonight, because I have to get up at 5am

Wish granted you get to sleep early but when you wake up you have to hang out with Joan Rivers and sing show tunes.

Wish I had some fine dark chocolates to snack on.

[catephoenix]

You do, but they're laced with cyanide.

I wish Jack Bauer would rescue me for boredom.

[jingold]

Granted.  Jack Bauer rescued you from your boredom, but now you've got to worry about the bomb, the nerve gas, terrorists and double agents.

I wish I didn't have to go into work today.

[catephoenix]

You don't have to, the double agents have tied you to your bed and are torturing you.

I wish it was November 30th.

[Caz]

Granted, but your time machine has gone awry and it's the 30th November one million years B C.

I wish it wasn't so muddy at work.

[rsmccoy]

Wish granted, you now work in the middle of the Sahara desert.

I wish I owned a house in Monterey

[doolols]

Granted, but it's a dolls' house.

I wish it would stop raining 

[evildeadgirl]

Granted, but it's a dolls' house.

I wish it would stop raining 

wish granted----it stops raining but your wife says your mother-in-law is moving in.


I wish I could win at the lottery.

[Rev. Austin]

I wish I could win at the lottery.

Granted!  You win £10!  And the next week, you win £5000!  And every week you keep winning more, until it arises suspicion with Camelot, who think you're somehow, inexplicably, ripping-off the system.  Because of the recession, the person who's in charge of making sure the system remains rip-off proof is made redundant, since everyone thinks his job's a waste of time.  Therefore, there's no way to prove your luck, and you get sued for £MILLIONS.  Tough luck, old bean!

I wish I had the power of the sun in each foot.

[Ed]

Granted - you will have the power of a tabloid newspaper in each foot, but the first time you go out in the rain they'll turn into paper mache and as you run screaming down the road you'll get tackled by a council warden, who will point to the trail of soggy pulp you've left behind in your wake, and fine you the full £1,000 limit for each and every scrap.

I wish they'd stop playing Michael Jackson records on the radio all day every day.

[elay2433]

Granted. Theyve stopped with Michaels music. Only now they're playing Jermaine Jackson records nonstop.

I wish I could leave work early today.