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Cafe Doom  |  General Discussions  |  Funny Stuff  |  Hell explained
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Author Topic: Hell explained  (Read 2357 times)

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Offline PaulH

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Hell explained
« on: March 19, 2010, 11:07:01 AM »
HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT
>
> The following is an actual question given on a University of
> Washington chemistry mid term.
>
> The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared
> it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now
> have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
>
>
> Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
> (absorbs heat)?
>
> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle 's Law
> (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
> variant.
>
> One student, however, wrote the following:
>
> First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
> need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
> at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once
> a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
> leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
> different religions that exist in the world today.
>
> Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
> religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
> religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
> can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as
> they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
> exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in
> Hell because Boyle 's Law states that in order for the temperature and
> pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
> proportionately as souls are added.
>
> This gives two possibilities:
>
> 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
> enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
> until all Hell breaks loose.
>
> 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
> Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
> over.
>
> So which is it?
>
> If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
> year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,'
> and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then
> number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic
> and has already frozen over! The corollary of this theory is that
> since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any
> more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby
> proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last
> night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
>
>
>
> THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

Offline Caz

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Re: Hell explained
« Reply #1 on: March 19, 2010, 01:22:22 PM »
 :grin: :cool:
Some may say slaughtered is too strong a word...but I like the sound of it.

Offline fnord33

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Re: Hell explained
« Reply #2 on: March 19, 2010, 11:09:36 PM »
 :afro: Shine on you nerdy diamond.
Life is an entanglement of lies to hide it's basic mechanisms. - William Burroughs

Offline rsmccoy

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Re: Hell explained
« Reply #3 on: March 21, 2010, 10:27:56 AM »
Genius! That's boy's is going places...where we have no idea.
It's better to burn out, than fade away...

Offline Kerr

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Re: Hell explained
« Reply #4 on: March 21, 2010, 05:59:47 PM »
On the contrary, that boy's going to heaven. Yuck-yuck! Or did on the night before he wrote that....

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