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Cafe Doom  |  The Critique Crypt  |  General writing chat  |  Got a boring story where nothing happens?
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Author Topic: Got a boring story where nothing happens?  (Read 21868 times)

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Offline Robert Essig

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Re: Got a boring story where nothing happens?
« Reply #15 on: January 14, 2011, 03:57:27 PM »
*dumb American question alert*

What's a quid?  I know it pertains to money, but...what is it?

I do realize that I could google it, but I figure someone here at the cafe, perhaps the Rev, can write something cheeky - that's right folks, cheeky - in response to my ignorance of the quid.

I'm suddenly hungry for calamari...
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Offline Ed

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Re: Got a boring story where nothing happens?
« Reply #16 on: January 14, 2011, 03:59:35 PM »
Your real name wouldn't happen to be Mohammed, would it? :scratch:
Planning is an unnatural process - it is much more fun to do something.  The nicest thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise, rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression. [Sir John Harvey-Jones]

Offline Rev. Austin

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Re: Got a boring story where nothing happens?
« Reply #17 on: January 14, 2011, 05:27:40 PM »
It needs more sauce!
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Offline Rev. Austin

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Re: Got a boring story where nothing happens?
« Reply #18 on: January 14, 2011, 05:31:35 PM »
I mean, a quid is one pound Robert.  Yes, one pound!  A quid, a squid, a lovely gold shiny coin!  Cor blimey guv, get a few bob and everyone'll think you're rolling in bees n' honey!   Edit: Look at all that lovely WONGA!  Get a load of that DOSH!  Feast your mince pies on all those READIES! <-- that one might not even be English slang!

They're remarkably easy to counterfeit, if the ones I keep getting from my local corner shop are anything to go by.

« Last Edit: January 14, 2011, 05:33:54 PM by Rev. Austin »
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Offline Pharosian

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Re: Got a boring story where nothing happens?
« Reply #19 on: January 14, 2011, 05:41:23 PM »
So what's the scoop on the coins with the funny (unpronounceable) words running around the edge? Once upon a time when I visited Jolly Old England, I was told it has to do with Wales and their desire to maintain some semblance of sovereignty, but I don't remember any details. Are those coins actually minted in Wales, or does the Crown just churn them out alongside the "English" coins? What does the funny writing say?  :grin:

Offline Robert Essig

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Re: Got a boring story where nothing happens?
« Reply #20 on: January 14, 2011, 06:05:45 PM »
That certainly clears things up. 

I still want some calamari though.
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Offline desertwomble

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Re: Got a boring story where nothing happens?
« Reply #21 on: January 14, 2011, 10:18:02 PM »
That certainly clears things up.  

I still want some calamari though.

...... and boringly enough, Robert, 'quid' is a non-count noun. So you can have 'fifty quid', not 'fifty quids'.

However, if you get a sudden windfall, you're 'quids in'!

Go figure!!!

DW :cheesy:
« Last Edit: January 14, 2011, 10:18:56 PM by desertwomble »

Offline Rev. Austin

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Re: Got a boring story where nothing happens?
« Reply #22 on: January 15, 2011, 03:45:23 AM »
So what's the scoop on the coins with the funny (unpronounceable) words running around the edge? Once upon a time when I visited Jolly Old England, I was told it has to do with Wales and their desire to maintain some semblance of sovereignty, but I don't remember any details. Are those coins actually minted in Wales, or does the Crown just churn them out alongside the "English" coins? What does the funny writing say?  :grin:

It says "Don't let Pharosian use this"  :grin:
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Offline Ed

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Re: Got a boring story where nothing happens?
« Reply #23 on: January 15, 2011, 03:59:09 AM »
Yet another vaguery of the English language, Womble ::)

So what's the scoop on the coins with the funny (unpronounceable) words running around the edge? Once upon a time when I visited Jolly Old England, I was told it has to do with Wales and their desire to maintain some semblance of sovereignty, but I don't remember any details. Are those coins actually minted in Wales, or does the Crown just churn them out alongside the "English" coins? What does the funny writing say?  :grin:

AFAIK, England, Scotland and Wales each have their own design, but the coins are all struck by the Royal Mint in England, except for the millions of counterfeit ones in circulation. I think they're from a former Eastern Block country.

As for the writing on the side of the coins, I think the Welsh one's in Welsh, and probably says something about valleys, leeks, and perpetual rain. The English one's in Latin (go figure) and says 'wonga for the peasants'. The Scottish one's in English, but the accent is so heavy you can't understand it  :afro:
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Offline Pharosian

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Re: Got a boring story where nothing happens?
« Reply #24 on: January 15, 2011, 11:11:38 AM »
AFAIK, England, Scotland and Wales each have their own design, but the coins are all struck by the Royal Mint in England, except for the millions of counterfeit ones in circulation. I think they're from a former Eastern Block country.

As for the writing on the side of the coins, I think the Welsh one's in Welsh, and probably says something about valleys, leeks, and perpetual rain. The English one's in Latin (go figure) and says 'wonga for the peasants'. The Scottish one's in English, but the accent is so heavy you can't understand it  :afro:

*sigh*

Silly me to expect a straight answer from this crowd. ::)

According to Wikipedia, the Royal Mint is located in South Wales. Starting in 1983, the pound coins were minted with a different design on the reverse each year, rotating through designs symbolizing the UK, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland, and England. The edge inscriptions vary with the reverse design:

England: DECUS ET TUTAMEN ("An ornament and a safeguard" – originally on 17th century coins, this refers to the inscribed edge as a protection against the clipping of precious metal

Scotland: NEMO ME IMPUNE LACESSIT ("No-one provokes me with impunity" – the Latin motto of the Order of the Thistle)

Wales: PLEIDIOL WYF I'M GWLAD ("True am I to my country" – from the chorus of the Welsh National Anthem)

Northern Ireland: DECUS ET TUTAMEN

2010 - Coat of Arms of the City of London on reverse
Edge inscription: DOMINE DIRIGE NOS ("Lord, guide us." – the Latin motto of the City of London)

2010 - Coat of Arms of Belfast on reverse
Edge inscription: PRO TANTO QUID RETRIBUAMUS ("For so much, what shall we give in return?" – the Latin motto of Belfast)

The full Wikipedia article also contains information about the counterfeit problem, stating that in some areas perhaps as many as 5% of the coins are fakes (National average 2.58%)! There's a close-up photo comparing a fake to a genuine coin edge-on. The counterfeiters apparently don't have very good dies.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One_pound_(British_coin)
« Last Edit: January 15, 2011, 12:46:35 PM by Pharosian »

Offline Rook

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Re: Got a boring story where nothing happens?
« Reply #25 on: January 15, 2011, 11:20:48 AM »
Hooray for Pharo!  :dance:

She answered her own question with classic thoroughness!  :cheers:

Boy, the counterfeits are terrible.  :idiot:
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Offline LashSlash

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Re: Got a boring story where nothing happens?
« Reply #26 on: January 15, 2011, 12:20:01 PM »
Good effort, Lash, but I can't help but feel your story was lacking the angst of a good first menstruation story. Perhaps if you changed your MC to a woman of the cloth, it might help? :scratch:
..........to a woman [of the cloth] on the rag, maybe??


Ma was a proud Femenist who,  on priciple,  was angry with everyone and everything. But most of all with the English language.  Some person was stupid enough to inform her that the medical term for  her lunar assignation was: a weeping uteris - mourning its unfertalized egg. Krikey-Moses, that set her off: "How dare anyone giive my uteris negative emotions aqnd conotations...!" Her bible was Our Body - Our Selves ........etc etc

.... ed, is this the type of thing you looking for?
« Last Edit: January 15, 2011, 12:51:38 PM by LashSlash »

Offline LashSlash

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Re: Got a boring story where nothing happens?
« Reply #27 on: January 15, 2011, 12:30:23 PM »
re counterfeit etc:- [That one's too good Lash. I'm guessing this is Literary? - kerr]-- the person i bought the story from [not saying for how much] swore it was a real one.

Offline Ed

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Re: Got a boring story where nothing happens?
« Reply #28 on: January 15, 2011, 12:57:24 PM »
Yeah, I think it's thorough in its description, and yet subtle enough not to provoke worrysome questions from children, Lash,  :afro:
Planning is an unnatural process - it is much more fun to do something.  The nicest thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise, rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression. [Sir John Harvey-Jones]

Offline LashSlash

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Re: Got a boring story where nothing happens?
« Reply #29 on: January 15, 2011, 01:15:56 PM »
Yeah, I think it's thorough in its description, and yet subtle enough not to provoke worrysome questions from children, Lash,  :afro:
...... coool! [gimme some time and i'll put it up for auction]

[sales pitch:-
you know how when you enter a story for a comp, how convinced you are of how brilliant it is and that it has a chance of winning.... otherwise why enter it in the 1st place -'specialy if you pay an entry fee??..... well:- once you buy the story i have for auction/sale, and when it becomer yours  -- i GUARANTEE you will feel that it's brillo and stands a GOOD chance of winning the bridgeport prize of ONE THOUSAND POUNDS!!!!!!]

i recieived a private bid through a PM --- the price stands at  33 pounds.

going once.....

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