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Cafe Doom  |  General Discussions  |  Funny Stuff  |  Whatever this is-
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Author Topic: Whatever this is-  (Read 5361 times)

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Offline Crabb

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Whatever this is-
« on: June 12, 2005, 05:17:15 PM »
Is this a simile or metaphor, I don't know the definition,

But it would be fun to come up with some as thus-

My friend said he had teeth like

'A sixteenth century prostitute.'

I have one that is- my life reads like a straight to video movie

And so it goes...

Offline canadian

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Re: Whatever this is-
« Reply #1 on: June 12, 2005, 07:26:14 PM »
simile, n.: A figure of speech in which two essentially unlike things are compared, often in a phrase introduced by like or as, as in “How like the winter hath my absence been” or “So are you to my thoughts as food to life” (Shakespeare).

Therefore, teeth being compared to a prostitute ... definitely a simile!

metaphor, n: A figure of speech in which a word or phrase that ordinarily designates one thing is used to designate another, thus making an implicit comparison, as in “a sea of troubles” or “All the world's a stage” (Shakespeare).

Not sure that your second 'statement' is either of the above. I think it's just a descriptive turn of phrase.
If people stand in a circle long enough, they will eventually begin to dance. -- George Carlin

Offline JoyceCarter

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Re: Whatever this is-
« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2005, 02:59:38 AM »
So Crabb's game will be to come up with some way-out similes, yes?

Offline Crabb

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Re: Whatever this is-
« Reply #3 on: June 13, 2005, 04:13:15 AM »
Hmmm, I'm not sure, because the teeth are not being compared to a prostitute but a 16th century prostitute's teeth.

Though I thought simile could be something that is actually like the thing it's compared to?

I'm taking the fun out of this before it's even begun.

Offline JoyceCarter

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Re: Whatever this is-
« Reply #4 on: June 13, 2005, 07:40:50 AM »
Quote
the teeth are not being compared to a prostitute but a 16th century prostitute's teeth

Oh, really - I wasn't thinking of her teeth, but of what about her might be overused and undermaintained.  I thought that was the joke.


Offline canadian

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Re: Whatever this is-
« Reply #5 on: June 13, 2005, 09:42:15 AM »
Now I'm thinking about the state of a 16th century prostitute's teeth ... would she even have any left?  :o

The visuals ... ohhh ... gummy oral sex?  :embarassed:
If people stand in a circle long enough, they will eventually begin to dance. -- George Carlin

Offline JoyceCarter

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Re: Whatever this is-
« Reply #6 on: June 13, 2005, 09:54:07 AM »
Now I HAVE to tell you the joke I was reminded of by this...

There was a young man who'd been strictly brought up by his widowed mother.  Came the time when he met a really nice girl, and they fell for each other.  Everything was going beautifully, except that he never would go all the way.  Finally, his girlfriend persuaded him to tell her what was wrong - his mother had told him women have teeth 'down there', so he was afraid of getting his dick bitten off.

'But that's not true!' said the girl.  'Look as close as you like - I haven't got any teeth to hurt you.'

So he looked.  And he said, 'I'm not surprised.  Look at the state of your gums.'

« Last Edit: June 13, 2005, 12:20:11 PM by JoyceCarter »

Offline canadian

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Re: Whatever this is-
« Reply #7 on: June 13, 2005, 10:30:11 AM »
 :grin: Nice one, Joyce!

Okay, now I've got to share one:

It's 2022 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough frequent flier miles. The first thing they see is a Martian couple. Mike and Maureen naturally want to know how they have sex. She goes straight to the point: "So how do you guys do it?" asks Maureen. "Like you do, I think," says the male Martian, "but maybe we'd better check it out to be sure!" So, after some discussion, they all agree to swap partners for one night.

Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He's got only a tiny penis about half an inch long and just a quarter inch thick. "I don't think this is going to work," says Maureen, disappointed beyond belief. The male Martian looks puzzled. "Why not?" he asks, "What's the matter?"  "Well," she replies, "it's just not long enough to go inside me!"

"No problem," he says, and starts to slap his forehead with his hand. With each slap, his cock grows till it's actually pretty long. "Well," she says, "that's very impressive, but it's still quite narrow...." "No problem," says the male Martian, and he starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his penis grows wider and wider until it's huge! "Wow!" shouts Maureen, before they fall into bed and make mad, passionate love. 

Next day the two couples rejoin their normal partners and go their separate ways. As they walk along, Mike says to Maureen, "Well, was it any good?" 

"I hate to say it," replies Maureen, "but it was pretty wonderful. How about you?" 

"It was horrible," says Mike, "all I got was a terrible headache. She just kept slapping my forehead and pulling my ears."
If people stand in a circle long enough, they will eventually begin to dance. -- George Carlin

Offline JoyceCarter

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Re: Whatever this is-
« Reply #8 on: June 13, 2005, 12:21:17 PM »
 :lol: :grin: :afro:

Offline canadian

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Re: Whatever this is-
« Reply #9 on: June 13, 2005, 01:37:53 PM »
Heaven help me ... here's another one:

"What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down and use a lubricant."

 :P
If people stand in a circle long enough, they will eventually begin to dance. -- George Carlin

Offline Crabb

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Re: Whatever this is-
« Reply #10 on: June 13, 2005, 06:25:25 PM »
Now I'm thinking about the state of a 16th century prostitute's teeth ... would she even have any left?  :o

That's it. My friends teeth are as bad as that in his comparison. COMPARISONS that's the thing.

As in- my brain is like a barrel of broken bicuits, the voters were like a herd of sheep, her voice grated my ears like the nails of a teacher on a blackboard, his opinions were as sound as a smoke alarm in a tent.

Offline SharonBell

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Re: Whatever this is-
« Reply #11 on: June 13, 2005, 07:11:59 PM »
Pretty soon you guys are going to have me pulling out the West Virginia jokes...where are the men are men and the sheep are scared... :evil:
"Be good and you'll be lonesome." Mark Twain

www.sharonbuchbinder.com

Offline canadian

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Re: Whatever this is-
« Reply #12 on: June 13, 2005, 07:12:58 PM »
And then there's the guys that prefer Jack Russell terriers ...

Ignore me ... I live in the backwoods ...  :embarassed:
If people stand in a circle long enough, they will eventually begin to dance. -- George Carlin

Offline SharonBell

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Re: Whatever this is-
« Reply #13 on: June 13, 2005, 07:47:07 PM »
Here's a real story from Motive

Two cops come upon a couple doing the deed on Lover's Lane. They knock on the window and tell them to move on. The man, embarassed and indignant says, "At least we're normal! There's a guy down the road a piece, fucking a LIVE chicken!"

The police look for the other car and, indeed, find a man fucking a LIVE chicken and talking mean and dirty to it! Not only that, he's videotaping it.

Now, wouldn't that be nice to slide into a stack of home videos for the holidays? Say, Thanksgiving? Or Christmas? Whatever happened to that nice Christmas goose? she asks. Ummm, ahhh, have you looked in the trunk of the car?

« Last Edit: June 14, 2005, 05:43:37 AM by SharonBell »
"Be good and you'll be lonesome." Mark Twain

www.sharonbuchbinder.com

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