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Author Topic: Sausage Press  (Read 2685 times)

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« on: January 05, 2017, 03:59:02 AM »

I just launched this little press with the first two books of the Chakra Kong Trilogy. CD crit group played a major role in their development. I can't thank you guys enough. Anybody who helped me out with crits is welcomed to a free ebook of the finished product. Hit me up anytime.

For anyone who's not familiar:

Birth, or the Exquisite Sound of One Hand Falling Off a Turnip Truck
-S.T. Gulik

Maxwell Quick hates life, the world, and everything in it. All he wants is to sit in front of his TV and let waves of alcohol cleanse the shore of his mind. Unfortunately, that’s no longer an option.
After defending himself against a group of mutant terrorists, Max is caught in a web of global conspiracies, terrorist networks and esoteric gibberish at the heart of an underground war for global domination. He knows the Iiite shadow-government is a family-pack of dicks, but should he side with the hyper-intelligent, yet socially retarded Riot Nrrds or the secret cabal within the Iiites that’s out to destroy them both? To find the truth, he’ll have to navigate backrooms and battlefields while dodging sexy double-agents, cultists, and aliens with agendas of their own. To stay alive, he’ll have to win a game of four-way chess where he’s the only pawn, and to regain his freedom he’ll have to save the world—all before he runs out of space on his DVR.
“Birth…” is an epic genre-bending roller-coaster plunging into an ocean of fun filled bonanzas of horror. This first novel of the Chakra Kong trilogy has people, places, and things. Stuff happens! Perfect for fans of money, sex, or food! Explosions! Tender cuddling with bizarre creatures! More explosions!


Sex, or Busier Than a Three Legged Cat Trying to Squeeze Blood from the Tip of an Iceberg
-S.T. Gulik

Maxwell Quick doesn’t like the world. So why does he have to keep saving it? Max did his part to free mankind. He wants out, but now the masses think he’s the messiah. Walking the tightropes between cult leader and media personality, spiritual advisor and businessman, Max dedicates himself to fixing the world. Unfortunately, the Iiites were just a nipple on a tire containing an infinite recursion of wheels and gears too large to jam. He’ll need tools to change the mechanics of society. For better or worse, a tool presents himself. Count Vladimir Greystoke, a wizard of media and industry, can definitely make things happen for him, but to what end and at what cost is a rabbit-hole unto itself. Spoiler alert! Max causes the apocalypse. But if you want to know how, you’ll have to read the book. “Sex…”, book two of the Chakra Kong trilogy, is a sexy hentai demon with tentacles probing every one of literature’s loose, soppy orifices. It’ll either save your soul or condemn it to an eternity of sucking Satan’s toes while Ron Jeremy eats sushi off your back. Either way, join my cult. We’re cheaper than the other guys.

Life is an entanglement of lies to hide it's basic mechanisms. - William Burroughs
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